Marriage & Modernity
Traditionally in the West Marriage was a fully dressed institution. By that I mean that Marriage was accessorized with functions that expanded it beyond something as utilitarian as sexual companionship.
In the last 200 years or so Marriage has been undressed and de-accessorized to the point that it is largely reduced to a institution that is reduced to sexual companionship, and if it is an institution that is reducible to sexual companionship then it is understandable how, given how all the other functions of marriage have been stripped away, that the function of sexual companionship should be stripped away of the requirement for the parties involved in the marriage to be one man and one woman.
Consider that traditionally in Christian cultures marriage was an institution that had familial, educational, economic, ecclesiastical, and social functions. Modernity has undressed marriage of many if not most of these functions and has turned marriage’s primary purpose into a kind of time limited partnership.
Historically, the purpose of marriage was procreation. Marriage was given by God to raise a covenant seed whereby godly dominion could be extended into future generations. Because the Christian purpose of
Christian marriage was procreation a bride went into a marriage believing her role in marriage would be to bear children and make a home and she was excited and pleased by such a prospect. Because the Christian purpose of Christian marriage was procreation a groom went into a marriage believing his role in marriage would be to provide for and protect his wife and children. However, modernity, while not yet being able to completely rid marriage of procreation, has succeeded in making procreation with the role accouterments a secondary consideration. Children are still a part of the marriage landscape but they are hardly the primary consideration as can be seen by the reduced number of children per household as well as by the way that children are farmed out to be raised in non familial settings such as day care and government schools.
The institution of marriage in Christian cultures was dressed with the responsibility of providing educational responsibilities. Christian homes were the place that Christian children often learned the trivium and the basics of their worldview. In large families older children were often charged with the tasks of tutoring the younger children. Now of course this responsibility that once was part of the marriage institution has been farmed out. Children, often as young as 3 years of age are educated and reared by relative strangers and this continues through all the formative years. The educational function of marriage thus has disappeared and so the idea of the necessity of marriage to provide an educational context was stripped from marriage.
The institution of marriage in Christian cultures was once dressed with the reality that it served as a mini-economic unit. The family unit was often a business unit whether it was a small family farm or whether it was a family shop where the family lived in the apartment over the store. The addition of children in this kind of Marriage dynamic was at the same time an addition of business associates. More children meant more possibilities of expanding the family business if only because there were more hands on deck. Husband and wife were not only sexual partners but they were business partners as well who depended upon one another for prosperity. Modernity has undressed that layer of clothing from marriages as careers are outsourced and disconnected from the family dynamic.
The institution of marriage in Christian cultures was once dressed with the role of proto-Church. Children in Christian homes saw the Father as the Elder and were taught and catechized into their undoubted Christian faith. Now, certainly the Church had a joint role in this function but in godly homes one could fine family altars, lessons (even if informal) in theology and psalm and hymn singing. Husband and wife were responsible to hand the Christian faith on to their covenant children. Modernity has undressed this layer of clothing from marriages as the idea of family unit as basic building block for the church has been pushed out by our entertainment culture.
The institution of marriage in Christian culture was once dressed with the role of providing instructions on social functions. Marriage was charged with rearing children who knew the difference between how one spoke in formal settings as opposed to the speech that was used in common settings. Marriage was to instruct in what was socially proper and improper. Many families emphasized the social graces by informing their children that they would never be in better company then they were when they were in the presence of their family members. Lessons would be taught on how to speak to elders and dignitaries, what was proper and improper with the opposite sex, what was considered proper dress, and where duty lie in given settings and situations. Marriage was the institution that did all this. Modernity, has largely forgotten all these categories but where it remembers them it has undressed the family from these responsibilities.
Beyond undressing the institution of marriage from these responsibilities modernity also did all it could to tear down the hedges that protected marriage. No fault marriages introduced in the 1970’s made marriage easily disposable. The removal of the scandal of divorce from the person responsible for the dissolution of the marriage (and often, unfortunately the person who wasn’t) led to the sense of taboo surrounding divorce being overturned which was a major attack on the institution of marriage.
Because all of this and much more the institution of marriage has been left naked. Marriage no longer serves as a muscular context for family life and the result is that the home is reduced to a kind of boarding house for biologically related but covenantally sundered individuals. The family is no longer a unit. The marriage is no longer a unit. Both have been reduced to utilitarian entities.
Now, having noted how the eco-system of marriage and family has been largely destroyed it is easy to see how we have come to the point where homosexual marriage now seems natural to so many people. If marriage can be reduced to sexual release (and that is what it largely has been reduced to) then it is difficult to argue that marriage can be construed as only that which happens between one man and one woman.
The battle for marriage was lost when Christians allowed the eco-system of marriage to be destroyed. The health of the institution of marriage was surrendered when we allowed marriage to be de-accessorized. Marriage became naked to the attack of the pink lobby when we allowed it to become undressed.
Marriage will only be restored when we give marriage its Christian context back.