It’s getting to be that time again, when Uncle demands that his subjects submit detailed reports of our lives, as measured by money: what income we had, what parts of it we spent for favored purposes, what taxes we’ve rendered up to our dread sovereign, and how much is yet to pay. As I consider the information I’ve given, and the checks I’ll write — one to my federal supervisors, one to their Indiana minions — gloom and anger cast their shadows on my mind.According to the Cato Institute, the feds will spend $2.7 trillion this year. That’s more than the budget, but you know how it is: there’s lots of wars, hurricane cleanups, Social Security programs, and other goodies that don’t show up in the official budget. That’s 2.7 times ten to the twelfth power dollars. It’s the sort of number that might not have the meaning to us that it should.

As my old dad used to say, it got me to thinkin’.

The largest-denomination paper currency being printed by the federal treasury today is the one-hundred-dollar bill. There used to be larger bills printed, but no more. All U.S. paper currency has the same physical size (the contents of my wallet, and a decent steel scale from my pencil drawer, reveal that paper money measures about 6.14 inches long by 2.60 inches wide). Suppose that the feds do all their spending for cash, in $100 bills. Suppose that they did all of it through a slot, on bill wide and one bill tall, so that federal spending took place in a continuous stream of $100 bills, end to end. Let’s do a little math.

The number of $100 bills spent in 2007 is going to be 2.7 times ten to the tenth. Assuming that the stream runs all year long, 24 hours each day, Saturdays and Sundays included, no holidays, no vacations: that means 3,082,192 bills flow past each hour. Every minute, 51,370 bills; every second, 856 bills. With each bill being 6.14 inches long, the speed of the stream is 438 feet per second, or 299 miles per hour. That’s about one-third faster than the fastest open-wheel race cars travel.

It’s a good thing we decided to use $100 bills. The corresponding speed for a stream of five-dollar bills would be 5,980 miles per hour … and at speeds of that sort, air friction would cause the currency to be promptly consumed by fire. Considering how the money is used now — to work evil, much more often than not — a hypersonic stream of fiery paper might not be such a bad idea, at that.

“Our” government is, by and large, a monstrous purveyor of evil; a spectacular geyser of wrongs. Producing nothing that any sane person would want to buy, it must accordingly rob and steal for its living. It reaches around the world to shed innocent blood abroad, and into mothers’ wombs to shed innocent blood at home. It specializes in calling good evil, and evil good. I know of no comprehensive cure for the disease of human government; like the other consequences of man’s sinful and fallen nature, it will be with us until the time comes in which the Lord closes out the present order of things and replaces it with a new creation. Meanwhile, I take it that our business here and now, in general, is to minimize and mitigate evils to the extent that we’re able. Which leads me to my modest proposal, in two parts.

First, let’s have an end to the clever and anaesthetic practice of withholding of taxes from people’s wages. Instead, let’s have taxes come due once per year, all at once: write a check. Write several checks, actually. One to the feds, one to your state, one to your county, and perhaps one to your city or town. We’ll call that day Tax Day, and we’ll observe it by rendering unto Caesar that which is Caesar’s.

Secondly, let’s decide that Tax Day shall occur each year on the Monday immediately preceding the first Tuesday in November. Write your checks today; and then, vote tomorrow.

Do you think the rate at which Congressfolk are re-elected might decrease a little? Do you think our supervisors might spend a little less of our money? And, since I take it as unlikely that the evildoers in the employ of government would volunteer to do their evil for free, do you suppose that substantially less evil and mischief might be done?

It’s worth a try.

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At Mrs. Friedrich’s  suggestion, I risk the indulgence of my entirely-adequate ego and append a brief introductory note: I’m a mostly-bald, the-rest-gray 53-year-old optical engineer who lives in the Fort Wayne, Indiana area.  I’m the father of two, who are pretty much out on their own now, and the husband of one, who’s been putting up with me for 32 years now and seems to know how.  I design and implement optical system tests at my day job, and teach a college physics course at my night job.  I’ve been a bond-servant of the Lord Jesus Christ for 24 years now, and I wish I were a better one.  But the day’s not over yet.